🧼 “PowerWash Simulator Just Got a Dark Souls Expansion — And It’s Brutal”

LOST NACHOS GAMING
Jun 28
2 min read

By Slick Voltage — June 28, 2025 - LostNachos.com

You read that right.

The chillest game on the market — PowerWash Simulator — just announced a Dark Souls crossover DLC… and somehow, it’s the most punishing thing to ever happen to water.

💀 What the Hell is This?

Titled “Dark Wash”, the new expansion drops players into grim, decrepit versions of iconic Souls locations — complete with:

Cursed grime that regenerates unless you pressure wash it in a precise order
Haunted armor suits that leak black sludge if ignored
Lore-rich filth with item descriptions like: “This tar once belonged to a hollowed knight. It will never come off.”

Yes, there are bonfires.Yes, there’s a “YOU DIED (FROM DEHYDRATION)” screen. And yes… you can parry mold spores if your reflexes are good enough.

💧 Gameplay Mechanics Reworked

This isn’t your casual driveway cleanse anymore. The DLC introduces:

Durability on your sprayer — clean too hard and it breaks.
Inventory burden — carry too many nozzles, and you move slower.
Enemies — Yes. Flying sludge wraiths that scream in corrupted Latin.

Also, there's a boss fight.With a gigantic, possessed garden hose named Hydragnir, the Torrent Serpent.

🎮 Community Reaction: Complete Insanity

The community is torn between worship and suffering.

🔹 “I spent 40 minutes trying to remove blood from an archway and ended up questioning my soul.”🔹 “This is the Elden Ring of janitorial duties.”🔹 “Why does the mildew have lore???”

One streamer was spotted rage-quitting after realizing the “Final Filth” was hiding under the item description plaque — meaning he’d missed it 3 hours ago.